COMMENTS
"Even VCs aren’t best friends with VCs"
Thanks for the laugh on a dreary, rainy Monday!
That was funny! I have a presentation I'm giving some angels this Saturday. I might use 1, 2 and 8 as jokes. Just kidding. Thanks for the laugh.
Good one Dharmesh! I laughed outloud.
Sad but true. Very funny, thank you!
12. I'll be glad to give you the money to get off the ground, for 95% ownership.
13. I think it's a great idea. I'll take your documentation directly to the other venture I'm funding to see if they can roll your ideas into theirs.
14. Unless you've already had so much success and have so much experience that I'm not necessary at all... You're too early stage for me.
15. Unless you're Google I'm not interested.
Very funny and on point. Start-ups are hard work and rewarding. Angels are instrumental in the process and your points are well taken. Thanks for putting them in one place.
Just made some time to read this and just cracked up. This was just too funny Dharmesh. My favorite of the 10 was #11 (:0).
Very funny. Sometimes laughs are too far apart - I think I will print it and use it for dart practice. Thank you.
Ha... Literally this week I was interviewed by a huuuuge venture fund (not business angels). That was a kind of new experience for me - stressful but interesting one. All recent days I have been thinking a lot about venture investments and finally I tend to agree with all your points. Thanks for the cold but fun truth, Dharmesh.
Nice one. I love stuff like this. I can only imagine what it's like trying to raise capital. I'm sure its so political and it of course has to be approved by the boss (wife).
We' are USA based engineers of Indian origin with 25+ years of working experience with Fortune 500 companies. We would like to fund or partner with other start-up firms that are about to fold-up due to shortage of funds or any other reason to keep their business operational either here or in India. We can fund these businesses under standard funding agreements or even partnerships (silent/active). To begin with, we are interested in solid business plans with research to back them up. Any investment we would make needs to have a high rate of return within reasonable timeframe. We are open to many industries/services.
We possess knowledge of Chemicals as well as automotive business worldwide. We also have factory/office space in Noida/Gurgaon in India worth over US$ 750,000.
If you have strong/practical ideas, intelligent business plans, and willing to work toward your goals, we can discuss next steps.
Best Regards,
Raj
I've got a startup that I've been boot-strapping, so I haven't been working with investors, but I still think this list is hilarious. Nicely done! And great insights in there too...
adding to Michael Durwin comments
16. If it's a good idea give me a reason why I need you to make this work.
I have been lucky enough to meet with several VCs and angels when I was seeking fund to start my first business and I have heard some of those before! very funny list. The one i heard the most though was "this is a great idea, personally i will invest but then this venture might not be the way my other partners will want to go". That one really gets me thinking, nice try with the attempts to console me, i know you and your partners think we are too early along in the business, so blame it all on your partners who aren't here to defend themselves.
We are talking to Angel investors for our startup and thats exactly what we are hearing ...funny? Not really..its the truth.
Quiet funny each ot them... A new one from my side
VC - I dont know why on earth I am what I am but I believe there were a lot minting money and I thought it will be cool saying I am a VC.
Always insightful. We are just getting started so I am sure it will be funnier in a few months.
The stuff about VC's they should teach you in business school.
We all have hopes we're going to get the big money. Our school teaches us how to get that money, but don't teach us about the non-formal part of the job. Guess I might not be getting that investment for my sight. Thanks for the laugh.
Would be more effective not to mention marketing and tell people to just focus on sales. Marketing never closed a sale
5 more things you did not learn in B school. http://bit.ly/ysZde
The naked truth just got better!
Keep them coming....
Roopa
I love your lists and I think part of it stems from the odd path many Bay Area tech boomer's progeny have followed! I've enjoyed my perspective as a silicon valley kid, growing to be a "no tech talk at the table" adult, back to the silicon valley life (but now I watch my dad take his golf in handicaps and throw money at infant projects of social benefit)
-- It just makes you wonder why every good Angel Investor learns more from their children between requests for allowance than they did in school -- but they hand out ATM withdrawals to people they hardly know but want to teach them a thing or two about their experiences--
you are a joy to read-- keep them coming since it keeps my dad's ego down when i print the lists for him, and he realizes I do get what he does for a living ;)
Yes, they sometimes also call them Vulture Capitalists or VCs for short ;)
Unless you've already had so much success and have so much experience that I'm not necessary at all... You're too early stage for me.
We all have hopes we're going to get the big money. Our school teaches us how to get that money, but don't teach us about the non-formal part of the job. Guess I might not be getting that investment for my sight. Thanks for the laugh.
Dharmesh, great stuff I was in a Start-up back '93 and tried it myself in '98, got burned when a Asian company stole my idea and product. I just got laid off and now going to do it again in '09. What I have learned about people with MBAs "out of school" should NOT run a company. They should be forced to go out and create a Stat-up and if they make it successful, they should then have the right to run a company. Otherwise MBAs can destroy a company. There is no substitute for Common Sense, you can NOT teach it.