Angel Investor Non-Admissons: 10 Things They Won't Say

About This Blog

This site is for  entrepreneurs.  A full RSS feed to the articles is available.  Please subscribe so we know you're out there.  If you need more convincing, learn more about the site.

Community

Google+

And, you can find me on Google+

Connect on Twitter

Get Articles By Email

Your email:

Google

Blog Navigator

Navigate By : 
[Article Index]

Questions about startups?

If you have questions about startups, you can find me and a bunch of other startup fanatics on the free Q&A website:

Answers.OnStartups.com

Subscribe to Updates

 

30,000+ subscribers can't all be wrong.  Subscribe to the OnStartups.com RSS feed.

Follow me on LinkedIn

OnStartups

Current Articles | RSS Feed RSS Feed

Angel Investor Non-Admissons: 10 Things They Won't Say

 

As a tribute to the very funny VC Non-Admissions and the follow-up Founder Non-Admissions, I offer to you my own take on this — from an angel investor perspective.  Sorry that mine aren’t in a cool presentation form with pictures and such.  I don’t have that kind of talent.  OnStartups Angel Non-Admissons

10 Things An Angel Investor Will Never Say

1. I really want to support entrepreneurs — but just those that are going to make me money.

2. I dread having to explain your business idea to my spouse (who can veto any deal).

3. I don’t really have enough stake in your company to spam my network on your behalf.

4. I was lying when I said that some of my best friends were VCs.  Even VCs aren’t best friends with VCs.

5. I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about 50% of the time.  What’s a socially-semantic mobile platform for non-virtual currency mean?  (Oh, it’s an iPhone/Facebook payment app).

6. The other 50% of the time, you have no idea what you’re talking about.  Anti-dilution provisions in a termsheet are not about beer.

7. How the public market did last week does impact my decision making.

8. I like to invest in cool startups because it helps make up for high school.

9. I don’t understand what half the things in the funding agreement mean either, but I’m betting that most of them are to protect me, not you.

10. I really didn’t put the check in the mail the day I said I did.  I was golfing that day.  I sucked.

11. I’m in it to mostly have fun.  If I wanted to do unpleasant work, I’d have my own startup.

—-

Feel free to add your best ones in the comments section, or if you prefer, you can tweet me @dharmesh

Posted by Dharmesh Shah on Mon, Jun 15, 2009

COMMENTS

"Even VCs aren’t best friends with VCs" 
 
Thanks for the laugh on a dreary, rainy Monday!

posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 10:51 AM by Pete Bishop


That was funny! I have a presentation I'm giving some angels this Saturday. I might use 1, 2 and 8 as jokes. Just kidding. Thanks for the laugh.

posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 10:52 AM by Pavan Katepalli


Good one Dharmesh! I laughed outloud.

posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 11:00 AM by Brian Halligan


Sad but true. Very funny, thank you!

posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 11:28 AM by Trace Cohen


12. I'll be glad to give you the money to get off the ground, for 95% ownership. 
 
13. I think it's a great idea. I'll take your documentation directly to the other venture I'm funding to see if they can roll your ideas into theirs. 
 
14. Unless you've already had so much success and have so much experience that I'm not necessary at all... You're too early stage for me. 
 
15. Unless you're Google I'm not interested.

posted on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 2:46 PM by Michael Durwin


Very funny and on point. Start-ups are hard work and rewarding. Angels are instrumental in the process and your points are well taken. Thanks for putting them in one place.

posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 6:07 AM by Larry Margolis


Just made some time to read this and just cracked up. This was just too funny Dharmesh. My favorite of the 10 was #11 (:0).

posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 11:55 AM by Gregory Simpson


Very funny. Sometimes laughs are too far apart - I think I will print it and use it for dart practice. Thank you.

posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 3:20 PM by Linda Hughes


Ha... Literally this week I was interviewed by a huuuuge venture fund (not business angels). That was a kind of new experience for me - stressful but interesting one. All recent days I have been thinking a lot about venture investments and finally I tend to agree with all your points. Thanks for the cold but fun truth, Dharmesh.

posted on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 6:21 AM by Dennis Crane


Nice one. I love stuff like this. I can only imagine what it's like trying to raise capital. I'm sure its so political and it of course has to be approved by the boss (wife). 
 

posted on Thursday, June 18, 2009 at 1:25 PM by John Poole


We' are USA based engineers of Indian origin with 25+ years of working experience with Fortune 500 companies. We would like to fund or partner with other start-up firms that are about to fold-up due to shortage of funds or any other reason to keep their business operational either here or in India. We can fund these businesses under standard funding agreements or even partnerships (silent/active). To begin with, we are interested in solid business plans with research to back them up. Any investment we would make needs to have a high rate of return within reasonable timeframe. We are open to many industries/services.  
 
 
 
 
 
We possess knowledge of Chemicals as well as automotive business worldwide. We also have factory/office space in Noida/Gurgaon in India worth over US$ 750,000. 
 
 
 
 
 
If you have strong/practical ideas, intelligent business plans, and willing to work toward your goals, we can discuss next steps.  
 
 
 
Best Regards,  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Raj 
 

posted on Friday, June 19, 2009 at 3:30 PM by Gucci


I've got a startup that I've been boot-strapping, so I haven't been working with investors, but I still think this list is hilarious. Nicely done! And great insights in there too...

posted on Friday, June 19, 2009 at 5:47 PM by Israel Hyman


adding to Michael Durwin comments 
 
16. If it's a good idea give me a reason why I need you to make this work.

posted on Monday, June 22, 2009 at 9:29 AM by Scopulus


I have been lucky enough to meet with several VCs and angels when I was seeking fund to start my first business and I have heard some of those before! very funny list. The one i heard the most though was "this is a great idea, personally i will invest but then this venture might not be the way my other partners will want to go". That one really gets me thinking, nice try with the attempts to console me, i know you and your partners think we are too early along in the business, so blame it all on your partners who aren't here to defend themselves.

posted on Monday, June 22, 2009 at 10:19 AM by Tolu


We are talking to Angel investors for our startup and thats exactly what we are hearing ...funny? Not really..its the truth.

posted on Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 7:01 AM by Rashmi


Quiet funny each ot them... A new one from my side 
 
 
 
VC - I dont know why on earth I am what I am but I believe there were a lot minting money and I thought it will be cool saying I am a VC. 
 

posted on Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 10:50 AM by Chanda | BizDharma.com


Always insightful. We are just getting started so I am sure it will be funnier in a few months.

posted on Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 6:37 PM by trent richardson


The stuff about VC's they should teach you in business school.  
 
 
 
We all have hopes we're going to get the big money. Our school teaches us how to get that money, but don't teach us about the non-formal part of the job. Guess I might not be getting that investment for my sight. Thanks for the laugh. 
 

posted on Friday, June 26, 2009 at 1:53 PM by Evan Freed


Would be more effective not to mention marketing and tell people to just focus on sales. Marketing never closed a sale  
5 more things you did not learn in B school. http://bit.ly/ysZde

posted on Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 5:31 PM by rhhfla


The naked truth just got better!  
 
Keep them coming.... 
 
Roopa

posted on Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 9:53 PM by Roopa Felten


I love your lists and I think part of it stems from the odd path many Bay Area tech boomer's progeny have followed! I've enjoyed my perspective as a silicon valley kid, growing to be a "no tech talk at the table" adult, back to the silicon valley life (but now I watch my dad take his golf in handicaps and throw money at infant projects of social benefit) 
 
 
 
-- It just makes you wonder why every good Angel Investor learns more from their children between requests for allowance than they did in school -- but they hand out ATM withdrawals to people they hardly know but want to teach them a thing or two about their experiences--  
 
 
 
you are a joy to read-- keep them coming since it keeps my dad's ego down when i print the lists for him, and he realizes I do get what he does for a living ;)

posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 at 6:16 AM by liz


Yes, they sometimes also call them Vulture Capitalists or VCs for short ;)

posted on Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 11:30 AM by OD


Unless you've already had so much success and have so much experience that I'm not necessary at all... You're too early stage for me.

posted on Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 11:35 AM by sohbet


We all have hopes we're going to get the big money. Our school teaches us how to get that money, but don't teach us about the non-formal part of the job. Guess I might not be getting that investment for my sight. Thanks for the laugh.

posted on Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 11:37 AM by yonja


Dharmesh, great stuff I was in a Start-up back '93 and tried it myself in '98, got burned when a Asian company stole my idea and product. I just got laid off and now going to do it again in '09. What I have learned about people with MBAs "out of school" should NOT run a company. They should be forced to go out and create a Stat-up and if they make it successful, they should then have the right to run a company. Otherwise MBAs can destroy a company. There is no substitute for Common Sense, you can NOT teach it.

posted on Thursday, September 03, 2009 at 8:42 AM by Andy


Comments have been closed for this article.